"Tell Me a Little About Yourself"

 “Courage, the original definition of courage, when it first came into the English language – it’s from the Latin word cor, meaning heart – and the original definition was to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart.” -- Brene Brown

These words aired on a Super Soul Conversations podcast, in which Oprah interviewed professor/researcher Dr. Brene Brown about her book, Daring Greatly. The title comes from the iconic Theodore Roosevelt quote about the man in the arena:

I love everything about Roosevelt's words. Far too often, we let the Internet trolls and their anonymous comments carry much more weight than they are worth (which is zero worth, by the way). Brown tells a story of a time when she put herself out there into the world, and while her work was overwhelming appreciated, she allowed the nasty comments to get under her skin. She came across Roosevelt's quote and decided that she would never again accept criticism from anyone who is not in the arena, doing the work, taking the risks. 

When I heard Brown define courage -- to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart -- I was reminded of a time I took a colossal risk in telling my story. 

After I completed my K-12 principal certificate, I began applying for assistant principal positions in the region. If you have ever pursued a specific career role, then you know how grueling the process can be. In school leadership, the job hunt is a bit like chess. A job will open, and a candidate will be selected. That candidate's position then opens up, so you apply for that position, and so on. While education is experiencing a national shortage of teachers, finding an administrative job within a specific geographic region is tricky, not to mention political. 

I am grateful for every interview I was granted -- sometimes, just being considered as a candidate can be gratifying, especially if the district is highly competitive. I also learned so much about the interview process in general. I was rarely nervous for an interview; I came to the point where I was merely curious about what the interview would tell me about the culture and values of the school district. In one district, I was interviewed by the entire school board -- not one professional educator asked a single question. It was very clear who runs that district. 

Most interviews start with, "Tell us a little about yourself." I typically presented a bite-sized portion of my 15-year career, highlighting the impressive parts of my resume. 

Then that damn Brene Brown released an episode of her podcast Dare to Lead in which a prominent, successful leader said that to truly know who you are as a leader is to know your story and to tell your story. He had a mentor who made him write an autobiography of sorts, which led him to understand why he became the type of leader he was. I thought about my past, about the experiences in my childhood and early life that influenced who I am as a person and a leader today. I decided that at my next interview, at a fairly progressive school district where I was sure people would be familiar with the work of Brene Brown, to answer the opening question in a different way. 

When the superintendent prompted, "Tell us a little about yourself," I did. I told them how my grandmother's deterioration into being deaf and mute inspired me to learn to read and write at age 4. How I learned early on that every voice matters and deserves to be heard. How having a hard time moving at age 9 helped me to value community and to welcome the stranger. 

You know, that sort of thing. The sort of thing no one ever says at an interview. 

In all, I probably took between 5-7 minutes to share a few moments that helped to shape my core leadership beliefs. 

Little did I know, the interview was strictly timed, and I "wasted" time on the first question and had to rush a bit through the remaining questions. (In my defense, I waited for almost an hour past my scheduled interview slot until I was called in, so how was I supposed to know they were running such a tight ship when all evidence was to the contrary?) 

Spoiler alert: I didn't get the job. 

The feedback given when I asked? I spent too much time on the first question and they had experienced candidates apply. My reply? "I appreciate your response. Previous interviews I have been asked to have lasted between and 1-1.5 hours, so I misjudged the time I spent sharing important elements of my leadership philosophy. Every school has a different process, and I’m also finding that the assistant principalship is moving beyond the realm of an entry-level administration position. It seems like I lack experience, but I can’t seem to get experience until someone sees my potential."

Thanks a lot, Brene. 

In all seriousness, I wouldn't change anything about that interview. I learned a lot about that district through that experience: they value efficiency over taking the time to truly get to know people, for one. And honestly, while I too value efficiency, it will never take precedence over authentic story-telling and listening. I told the story of who I am as a leader that day with my whole heart. 

Courage doesn't always equal landing the job or winning the contract. Sometimes, courage simply means you walk away, knowing that you told your truth with your whole heart.