Catching My Breath

 Guys, it's been beyond insane since the last time I wrote.  My experiment with Podmatch took off with an unexpected intensity, and before I knew it, I was booked nearly every day with interviews. It took some tweaking of the online scheduling calendar, but I eventually figured out how to find more of a balance. I think. 

The result has been that I've increased to publishing 2 episodes a week, and I'm often several weeks ahead in the recording and editing process. I'm proud of my little passion project, Join the Conversation with Denise Clark.  I'm finishing up my 4th season, and I'm planning a bit of a publishing break for the summer.  I have interviews lined up, but I am not going to release them until August. I figure my audience needs a chance to catch up on content, and I need time to reflect on my next steps. 

On a family level, it's been a whirlwind. In April, we closed on a house that Gene & I have loved for years, but the time wasn't right. Quick backstory -- this house was in foreclosure & needed a LOT of work when we decided to buy the house on Loyalsock Ave.  While we loved our time in our "old new house," we wanted to grow our side business, Family Traditions RV Rentals, and we were out of space for parking. We started looking at houses in a "I wonder what's out there" kind of way, and guess what! The house we loved was back on the market -- renovated and beautiful! We decided to make an offer, knowing that if it was meant to be, it would happen.  And it did!

Gene has been hard at work, moving the fencing and expanding the parking opportunities at this house, and we've purchased another camper to add to our modest fleet. I should probably mention that the house has an indoor pool.  Yep, you read that right.  And who knew? It's Molly's favorite room in the house.  Not that she swims, mind you.  No, she's above that -- 

I am not kidding when I say we can't get in the pool without her wanting to be in one of her boats.  What a life, right?

In typical Clark fashion, we moved a few days before Gene & I chaperoned Aidan & E's marching band trip to Boston (and of course, we took Liam along!).  We left the house piled high with boxes and spent 4 days with amazing talented kids, exploring all the popular sites of Beantown -- from the Aquarium to Faneuil Hall (where the band performed) to a dinner cruise to opening day at Fenway Park. 

We returned, continued the moving process and signed our lives away on 2 house closings. What a restful spring break. ha! (I realize I have ZERO room to complain.  See above for photo of indoor pool.) 

May has been no different, honestly.  Aidan and his beautiful girlfriend went to his junior prom (and of course we hosted the after party.  It's sort of an obligation for the people with the aforementioned indoor pool). 

Aidan's been through a lot, too.  He discovered that not every mentor you have has your best interests at heart, and he learned what it's like to be taken advantage of at work. I was proud of the way he handled the situation -- calmly setting boundaries and speaking up for himself. He walked away from a toxic environment and is visibly happier (thinking the pretty girl on his arm has something to do with that, too!). He took the Defense Language Aptitude Battery and absolutely killed it. His score was phenomenal, and it's exciting to see what doors will open for him as he embarks on his career in the US Air Force -- NEXT year! He still has senior year with us, thank God! 

E has been excelling in her art courses and qualified for National Art Honor Society this year! She's been learning the tricky skill of balancing a part-time job with school work and a social life (one of her best friends lives next door now!). I can't believe we are at the end of her freshman year of high school. . . and that she's taking driver's ed this summer! Slow down, time!

"Little" Liam has discovered his musical side. He's growing so much as a soccer player, too, but it's been fun to see him in his first concerts, including one for an auditioned youth choir. 

We've also finally busted out the disc golf discs that Liam got for Christmas and tried the course right near our house.  So much fun!!  Looking forward to more of that, for sure! 

Oh, and somewhere in the midst of all that, I submitted my dissertation to my committee in preparation for my defense June 16. As for the next steps for my career, I'm seeking. I'm listening. I'm waiting. What's meant to be will happen.  It always does. 

And so, as we wrap up the school year, I am looking forward to simply catching my breath, processing all that has happened, reflecting on how to move on. I hope to write more often, but I know better than to make promises I'm not sure I can keep. 

All I can say is that I know I'm exactly where I'm meant to be, and that's more than enough. 

Adventures with PodMatch

This fall, I decided to try podcasting. I've listened to podcasts for years, and as circumstances in my life allowed for more creativity, I branched out and started Join the Conversation with Denise Clark. What started as following my curiosity has grown into a passion project that fuels me and, I'm told, my listeners. 

I've coordinated three seasons now, each on a large, overarching topic: Teaching, Learning, & Surviving.  For the most part, I reached out to people I already knew, who I knew had stories worth sharing with others. Along the way, guests were recommended to me and my circle began to expand. 

Since November 2021, I've had nearly 1500 downloads of my show, and I've published 28 episodes. With season 3, I decided to take a leap of faith and publish two episodes a week, instead of just one. I've been able to keep pace, despite working full-time, raising my kids, and completing my dissertations. 

About three weeks ago, I received an email from a company called PodMatch, inviting me to try their service. Envision online dating, but for podcast hosts & guests.  I created a profile, uploading links to my show & answering questions about my vision for the podcast. Every few hours, I am sent potential guests matches to review. There is a potential to earn money for completing interviews, and there was a nominal monthly fee for me to join. My show has never been about making money, but if I can generate some income without losing the goal of my project, I figure -- why not?

Before I knew it, I had over a dozen new interviews booked with a variety of guests, from writers and speakers to activists and moms. Reflecting on my recent fascination with connection, I settled on the theme of connecting for Season 4 of my show. Here I am, connecting with people from all over the world, from all walks of life. My new season launches April 15, and my first episode is with a former male exotic dancer whose work now centers on men's mental health and authenticity. 

I'm still finishing up a few interviews for my season on surviving, and I'm finding myself booked for the next few weeks already. I'm learning how to navigate the scheduling app to balance my life a bit better, but overall, my adventure into PodMatch has been a positive experience. I'm excited to see what happens as my show grows and these conversations reach the ears of more and more people. 

This time of year is a bit of a mixed bag -- at school, the feeling is that of winding down, finishing the year. In nature, it's supposed to have the feeling of spring coming, starting fresh (but we are in Central PA and it was 17 last night...on March 29). In our personal life, we are selling a house and buying another one, so it's a combination of both finishing and starting. It seems only fitting that my podcast project would feel the same: ending the era of only interviewing people I know, starting a phase of connecting with new people. 

Stay tuned! I think you'll be as pleased with Season 4 as I am! 

Join the Conversation about Surviving #7: Rays of Hope through the Clouds of PTSD with Melissa Harrop

CONTENT WARNING: This episode discusses trauma & PTSD and may not be suitable for all listeners. 

Melissa (Missi) Harrop is a wife, mother, farmer, and passionate advocate for agricultural education. She served our country in the U.S. Army from 2002-2006 and fought in the Iraq War. She also struggles every day with fibromyalgia -- a disorder characterized by widespread musculoskeletal pain accompanied by fatigue, sleep, memory and mood issues. 

In today's episode, Missi shares how she has survived not only the trauma of the war, but also the trauma of a toxic previous relationship. Now in a healthy and supportive marriage, Missi has grown to be able to ask her loved ones for the help that she needs, when she needs it. 

For more information on PTSD, see the National Center for PTSD or the National Alliance on Mental Illness. 

Please be sure to subscribe to Join the Conversation with Denise Clark so that you don't miss a moment of this exciting season! Check out Denise's blogs for more of her musings: The Stories that We Weave.

Find us on Instagram @jtc_with_denise_clark  
Email show comments and ideas directly to Denise: jtcwithdeniseclark@gmail.com!

Music Credit: Ikson 

Join the Conversation about Surviving #5: Beating Breast Cancer while Pregnant with Jaclyn Gailit Trepanowski

Join the Conversation about Surviving #6: Living with Joy & Cystic Fibrosis with Amy Stubanas

Re-Connecting the Disconnections

As COVID-19 eases its vice grip on our personal and social lives, we are find ourselves faced with the invisible pandemics of isolation and loneliness that have fractured us collectively. The next time you are in a public place, take a look around to see how many people are on their phones, with headphones in, or otherwise disengaging from those around them. I've already written about the decline of volunteers in some organizations, but we are seeing disengagement across the board -- from the "Great Resignation" to the employee shortage facing nearly every industry in America. People are isolating themselves, turning to TikTok and YouTube over in-person interactions and community gatherings.

In schools, we see students who would rather put in their AirPods and tune out the world as they walk from class to class. Who am I kidding? We are seeing students who would rather tune out the teacher and their peers while they sit in class. 

While technological advances are incredible, we have allowed them to replace human contact -- and we are suffering as a result. We are perfectly poised as a society to rethink our goals and values. We need to re-humanize our worlds. In politics, in education, in the workforce -- we need to realign our priorities and re-connect. 

Re-connecting the disconnections is not as herculean as it sounds. I, for one, hate when Those with the Theories have no practical examples of how implement their Important Ideas. So, allow me to share a simple example with you. 

Each morning, a handful of colleagues and I are assigned to hall duty. Supposedly, our adult presence will deter students from making poor choices between 7:20 and 7:40 AM. Most of the time, it even works. But, being the kind of people who want to do more than just monitor, my colleagues and I have made it a personal mission to make our hall space welcoming and fun. Admittedly, we are led by a very creative, out-of-the-box guy who teaches science and has experience in school administration. (He's the kind of guy who owns a 3-D printer. You know the type.) 

At the beginning of the school year, we put a random lamp post left in the hall to good use and created a pen for an invisible dog. Imagine a cage at the zoo, but with one of those gag dog leashes -- 

We had a water dish, fake food, even zoo-like informative signs about the "Caninis Invisibilis." It was fun, but eventually it ran its course. 

Our fearless leader then began what we've termed, "Random Hub Surveys." He stands in the center of the hall and takes a survey . . . every morning. Questions range from, "Are there more doors or windows in the world?" to "Do you sleep with your socks on or off?" 

At first, kids were like, "What? Are you talking to me? I have my headphones in, and I'm clearly trying to ignore all of you people." Now, we have kids saying, "What's the question today?" as soon as they come up the stairs to our hall. One day when our colleague was absent, a senior jumped in with a clipboard to ask if students liked the morning surveys. (A resounding YES! One student even said, "It's what gets me here in the morning.) 

The questions spark little conversations among teachers and students -- even students who aren't necessarily friends with each other. Sometimes, the questions inspire heated debates, like the day we asked about iPhone or Android preference. I'm not even getting into the Xbox vs. Playstation day. 

We've been posting the results in the hall, and a cross-curricular activity with a statistics class may even come out of it. 

As silly as this sounds, the "Random Hub Survey" goes beyond having a little fun in the morning. When I look at the numbers posted, I see that we make contact with roughly 130-160 students every single day. Eye contact, quick Q&A, maybe a little follow-up discussion. Every single day. 

What's a non-school equivalent? Making eye contact and saying hello when we see people in the store or on the street, perhaps? As simple as it sounds, acknowledging our common humanity is a crucial step toward re-connection, to re-humanization. 

As educational leader and consultant Angela Maiers says, "We have to move from commonsense to commonplace and common practice." Small steps toward each other will ultimately make us stronger and closer -- even if we don't all believe that Lucky Charms are magically delicious. 

Why is 90% of the Work Done by 10% of the People? -- Do We Want to Know, or Do We Want to Complain?

You've no doubt heard the phrase, "90% of the work is done by 10% of the people." I know I've been part of the 10% many times -- in church, at school, in organizations that support my kids' activities. Inside the 10%, a sort of smug superiority can breed, bringing about an "Us v. Them" mentality. As in, We who attend all the Meetings and drop Everything to Do All the Things are inherently better that the absent Them, who clearly not have their Priorities in Line, else they would be more like Us. 

I have three kids, as you probably know, ages 17, 15, and 11. I volunteer, trying my best to give my of my time and talents in an equal share to all the activities my kids are involved in. I'm a band mom, a choir mom, a soccer mom, an art mom, a color guard mom. I've been a dance mom, a Cub Scout mom, a baseball mom, a basketball mom, a swim mom. I've also been the director/advisor who has been in charge of various activities. I understand how important parent support is, and I've always been a supportive parent. 

You get the idea. I'm no slouch. 

At the same time, I don't identify with the smug members of Us that judge those who can't get to meetings. After all, there is only so much time in one day, in one week. We're also hobbling our way out of a pandemic, and though some would like to ignore it, there are people who are still immunocompromised and afraid to mix with strangers. There are still people who are healing from the emotional and mental stress of the past 2 years and adding One More Thing just seems impossible. 

I've been thinking recently about why more people don't volunteer these days. Where are those 90%? Why don't they show up? I've already mentioned some possible pandemic-related reasons, but we were starting to see a decline in volunteers prior to 2020. One organization I am part of is facing a new season without most of the officer positions filled. Pleas for help are send out to mass membership on a regular basis. No one is stepping up. 

While I believe there are factors specific to that organization that are in play, I think there are two main reasons people don't volunteer as much any more. And no, actually, I don't think simply having the time is one of them. We have time, and frankly, we are masters at wasting it-- Americans spent 1300 hours on social media in a year, according to this article from Forbes. We have time -- we are just making decisions about how to spend it. 

* First, people are desperately seeking meaningful connection and purpose in their lives. If your meetings are cold, impersonal, or cliquey, why would anyone come back? Why would they prioritize their time to include such an experience? 

* Second, people will devote time, money, energy, sweat, tears, blood -- to a cause they can understand and get behind. Just last weekend, students at Penn State University raised over $13.7 million dollars to fight childhood cancer. 

I recently attended a meeting in which I asked some (I thought) reasonable questions about what the organization I've already mentioned above had planned to do with tens of thousands of dollars in the account. The treasurer and leader of the group gave logical explanations of future plans and expenses. I suggested that we increase communication and transparency so that those who aren't more regularly involved would understand the importance of becoming involved. In return, I was belittled and scolded and chastised. One person nearly threw their back out, huffing and puffing over the audacity of my suggestions and questions. There was a wagging finger involved, guys. This was serious business, evidently. 

(Silly me, I thought when someone said, "Does anyone have any questions?" that meant I was free to ask questions. Lesson learned!) 

When the financial goals were explained, it made sense to me to articulate those to the group at a large, so they could get behind a cause. But, I now realize my seeking a solution was a threat to the smug members of the 10% who want to feel superior to the 90% who can't make it to every meeting (as I was chastised for). So that means we don't have a clearly articulated cause for people to get behind, and judging by the way I was treated at the meeting, we don't have the meaningful connection people are seeking.  

(To be very fair, I believe the majority of the people present appreciated my contribution. I saw many nodding heads, and several people talked to me afterward, affirming my decision to speak up.) 

Instead of having a "Well, it's about time you made it to a meeting" attitude, we need to have a "I'm so glad you are here" attitude, if we want people to return, to chip in, to move the needle beyond the 10% volunteer force. 

I did a little bit of research to see what others are noticing about the drop in volunteerism, and I came across this article published on PTO Today. Turns out, what I'm seeing at a local level is fairly universal: "Researchers agree on six motivators [for volunteering]. People volunteer to make a difference in others’ lives; to support an organization, community, or cause; to learn something new; to develop personally or professionally; to feel better about themselves; and to meet people."

If we truly want to increase the number of volunteers in an organization, we need to drop the "Us v. Them" mentality and take a hard look at why people aren't coming out. Are we demanding too much of people? Are we meeting too often? Are we communicating effectively? Are we encouraging a positive, welcoming environment, or are there too many people on personal power trips? Are we sharing leadership? Does every voice truly matter? Are we leading with our shared values, or are we allowing personal agendas to muddy the waters? 

In order for true change to occur, we need to be able to ask the hard questions of ourselves. Otherwise, we fiercely guard the status quo and continue to get the same results.